obsessed

Apex predator

if elected i will ensure that the top also gets pregnant *cheering* *vullet from the snipers rifle enters one of my eyes*

Wish I was here...

I am a recreational Noticer. I love to Notice Things and Make Connections and Identify Patterns. This is one of my favorite activities and it requires me to behave in compulsively silly ways online.

In real life, this manifests itself by suddenly asking a coworker "so how long has your wife known about your mistress?" Because he stopped bringing in a packed lunch and I saw him scrubbing lipstick off his neck one day when he "went to the bank"

how did that go?

So good

The year is 2015, you wake up at 2pm and rush to your computer. Your friends are on skype! You message your skype group and say “dgdjfgdfg GOOD MRONGING I OVERSLEP TGDFG”, all your friends reply with a keysmash. They update you on what happened while you napped, two of your mutuals got called out for kinstealing. Tsh- not like you’re surprised. Even if they tagged as “not kin or id”, you knew they were reblogging too much chrom art for them not to be kin. Your friends quickly send you the callout post link and you scroll through it hastily. Looks like they also stole their mutuals theme layout. You close the callout and open tumblr.com, you recently changed your url from bpdayato to ayato2 (score!) and need to reblog the notice post again for your mutuals who may not have seen. You have one new ask! You open your inbox to read it. It says- “were u tumblr user schizogod.” …you delete the ask. You know if you say yes they will bring up old callouts, but that’s not important- your friends just sent you a rabbit invite and you’re going to watch darkweb videos!

is this like satire or did you guys actually live this

Hey, don't cry. Hot 50+ year old men wearing tight shirts, okay?

Every time I see my mutuals post in their native tongue that I don't understand I'm like yes 🥰 that's language babes 💖

고추

hehe i said penis

I forgot that she ended up choosing the worst name out of the bunch

does anyone else keep seeing this label in their notifs